Close to Death - But Really!

I had a near-death experience last week; the sort of thing you just never expect. I’m writing this post hoping that anyone who reads it may learn something and do things a little different to make their lives better - even if in the smallest way.

What happened?

Suffering from an enlarged prostate for the last several years, it finally got to the point that I had to have it removed, so I went in for a TURP procedure. The surgery went fine, but upon removal of the catheter a couple of days later, I was beset with Sepsis - a bacterial infection of my blood system. My temperature started to soar, my whole body shook uncontrollably and I started to feel very, very cold. I understood the gravity of my situation when the team that descended upon me started to cut away my hospital pyjamas - like you see in the movies - to get easier access for treatment. I was rushed to the ICU. There, I was set upon by another medical team. By the time they were done with me, I had:

• an IV drip pumping me with antibiotics
• a venous catheter for the multitude of blood tests I would need over the following days
• An arterial catheter in my left wrist for arterial blood tests
• A subclavian venous catheter - I believe that was for the 10 units of Thrombocytes and 3 units of blood that I was about to receive.
• another arterial catheter in my groin - don’t ask me why
• A connection to a monitor (EKG, BP, saturation)
• A blood pressure sleeve
• A finger unit to measure O2 saturation

After a couple of days in ICU during which I was constantly short of breath, an echocardiogram showed damage to my heart (hence the difficulty breathing). That’s when they decided to put me under and respirate me. Thankfully, 2 days as a vegetable did the trick and they managed to get my heart fully functional. Another 2 days after being awakened, I was finally moved back to the urology ward. 5 days later I was released to complete my convalescence at home.

The Very Basics

While I was in the ICU, gasping for air because my heart wasn’t fully functional, it became so clear to me just how much we take for granted in life. What is more basic than taking a breath of air. I will never forget that feeling of utter helplessness when you can’t seem to fill your lungs. Today, I can truly appreciate the simple act of taking a deep breath and feeling satisfied with it.

The Power of Family

It’s at times like this that you truly understand the importance of a loving and supportive family. First and foremost, is my wife, Hagit, who took charge of our 3 kids and managed to keep everything running, while coming to the hospital all the time (while herself suffering a severe sinus infection during the whole ghastly period).

Then there are my 2 older kids, Yarden (16) and Lia (13). At these ages, the gravity of the situation doesn’t always sink in and a teenager can display some amount of indifference or bother with it all. Not these two.

Both Yarden and Lia instantly took charge and showed extreme maturity, together with empathy in supporting Hagit. In moments of crisis, while I was teetering between here and the hereafter, when Hagit found it too much to bear, Yarden took over, and was a physical and emotional crutch for her to lean on until she shook herself back into shape. Lia immediately took the role of mother to 3-year-old Shy-Li so Hagit could attend to me. It warmed my heart and gave me great pride to see how our family held up. Looks like we did something right.

Then there’s my brother, Efi, who lives in the US, and is the CEO of a multi-million $ company - a very busy man. As soon as things went A-up and I was moved to ICU, he just dropped everything and flew over. While I was in ICU, he was there for many hours each day, helping me with everything from shaving to getting a simple glass of water - and mostly just helping to keep my spirits up. He was also instrumental in keeping my aging Mom sane and able to come visit during this whole time.

Speaking of my Mom, it's hard for her to just get around the house, but she got herself to the hospital every day, and stayed by my side for hours on end doting over me.

Lastly, I have to mention my wife’s extended family who instantly set up a support network around her to help both emotionally and with different logistics.

The three secrets to a happy life → family, family, family

The Importance of Physical Fitness

I have been blessed with genetics that kept me slim over the years, but since my school days, like many, I didn’t really find much time for exercise. Then, when I was 48, a bug bit me and I took up running. Since then, I have kept fit, recently replacing some of my running with working out at the gym. Why am I telling you this?

Before putting me under the respirator, the head of ICU questioned me about my level of physical fitness, going into details such as how quickly I could run 5 Km. My being in decent physical shape was instrumental in his decision. Apparently, your chances of surviving Sepsis (and probably anything else) are much better if you’re fit when it happens.

It’s never too late to start. If you’re not in shape, start now. It doesn’t have to be running, gym or anything in particular. Find an activity you enjoy, put yourself in a committed framework and get out there.

Many times at the gym after a long day, I found myself almost falling asleep while exercising on the mat - but the logo on the wall said, “You’ll never regret a workout,” and that’s so true.

The Supernatural

I consider myself someone whose feet are firmly planted in the ground. My beliefs are based on scientific evidence, reproducibility, cause and effect. But the weirdest thing happened to me during those two weeks in hospital.

Soon after awakening from my surgery, I was moved into the urology ward. My room had a big wall clock - but it's time was off - the batteries must have been weak or something. “No matter,” I thought, I have my phone for the time. But here’s the thing. My phone was also showing the wrong time. No matter how much I played with the phone’s configuration - use network time, set time manually etc. - I couldn’t get my phone to display the right time. This went on for about 3 days Eventually I just gave up considering it to be a glitch related to network coverage or something like that, and stopped looking at my phone to get the time. Then all hell broke loose with my sepsis and the whole story and that last thing on my mind was the time on my phone.

After finally being awoken in the ICU and being stabilized, I was eventually returned to the urology ward. I was in a different room - and the clock on the wall was correct this time. When I eventually picked up my phone, lo and behold, suddenly, it was also showing correct time. It was like suddenly, time mattered again.

I would like to think there’s some logical explanation for this experience, be it electromagnetic fields, mobile network cell sizes or the like, but I still found this “coincidence” noteworthy and it’s something that will remain a mystery.

Hope and Patience

The most difficult part of this whole episode was my week in the ICU. Between all the drips and machines I was connected to, the difficulty breathing, general exhaustion (it’s impossible to sleep in the ICU), it would have been very easy to slip into despair. But I didn’t. 

First, all the support and attention I got from both my immediate and extended family warmed my heart. Because it wasn’t something I overtly expected or thought much about, it enabled me to really appreciate it. Then there was the amazing medical staff at the ICU. They were constantly fussing over me for all the treatment I was receiving and blood tests I needed to do. And while maintaining full operational professionalism, they were instrumental in keeping my spirits up, encouraging me with my improving stats, ensuring me that “just a little more” and I will be feeling much better. They gave me the hope and patience to wait it out until things really began to improve.

What Now?

This episode is a game-changer, and your initial thoughts might be that you will “do everything different now.” But thinking realistically, I will probably go back to doing most things in pretty much the same way - I’m not one for radical changes. HOWEVER, things ARE different.

• My now-fully-functional-heart is filled with with the knowledge and appreciation for a loving and supporting family.
• I have a better appreciation for the most basic things in life.
• I do plan to make some small changes such as bringing the piano back into my life and cooking some more.

Here’s to living.